This pop quiz is brought to you by Insecurity. For those times when you’re feeling a bit confident with yourself and the world, try a dose of Insecurity. A little dab will do you.
1. You take the kids out for a drive, only to discover that the destination is closed. What do you do?
A. Find a new, fun destination, such as the park, the zoo, or ice cream shop.
B. Reroute to grocery store.
C. Head home and tell the kiddos, “Surprise! Our destination was our house, after all!”
Solution: B. FUN TIMES AHOY!
2. You are in the produce section and your oldest child desperately wants to help with the shopping. What do you do?
A. Let her pick the apples, especially the bruised ones.
B. Let her put the strawberries and blueberries in the cart.
C. Let her try to weigh her baby sister on the scale.
Solution: B. CLEANUP IN PRODUCE! Also a side of A. Don’t tell Ben.
3. You are at the deli counter ordering the less expensive roast beef when you hear a voice that sounds a lot like your child saying, “Mommy! The baby is going to the bathroom on the floor!” What do you do?
A. Look around to see if anybody heard this announcement, then loudly reply to child, “It’s just spit up!”
B. Pretend you have lost your hearing.
C. Thank goodness you are at the deli counter where there is a good supply of napkins, so you don’t have to open the not-yet-purchased napkins in your cart.
Solution: C. CLEANUP IN DELI!
BONUS QUESTION! You are in the mailroom and encounter a coworker you don’t talk to very often. Suddenly you hear a voice saying out loud, “Wow, you smell good!” The voice belongs to you. The coworker looks at you in surprise, and you realize that nobody has ever told you that you smell “wow good” before. This is because:
A. Telling somebody they smell wow good is socially unacceptable.
B. You don’t smell good.
C. All of the above.
Solution: Wow good.