I love Cupcake Kitschen. I really do. But I always felt like it was missing a little something. What? WHAT is Cupcake Kitschen missing? I mean, obviously, it comes with the essentials: cupcakes, oven, various parts that have already been lost.
Then it came to me. I know what is missing. Fake Produce!
That fiasco is now resolved.
Welcome, Fake Produce, to the Reading Room. I hope you will have a happy home in and around the Cupcake Kitschen, near the piano, behind the couch, and wherever I can step on you a la Legos and break my foot into a million pieces.
You know what’s cool about Fake Produce? That while some semi-famous Brooklyn co-ops are debating whether to offer plastic bags for customers to use with their real produce, people in China (on our behalf, surely) are making fake food out of plastic. That’s ironic!
You know what else is cool about Fake Produce? The entire yellow chicken is as big as a waffle, which is as big as a strawberry, which is as big as a can of vegetables (WHY can of vegetables WHY?), which is as big as a green pineapple (WHY green pineapple WHY?).
You know what is not cool about Fake Produce? As Sigourney noted, the fake ice cream tastes exactly the same as the fake potatoes. That’s just wrong, man.
Got to go now. We have a LOT of pieces to lose, and we better start losing them right away.