Fake Produce

I love Cupcake Kitschen. I really do. But I always felt like it was missing a little something. What? WHAT is Cupcake Kitschen missing? I mean, obviously, it comes with the essentials: cupcakes, oven, various parts that have already been lost.

Then it came to me. I know what is missing. Fake Produce!

That fiasco is now resolved.

Welcome, Fake Produce, to the Reading Room. I hope you will have a happy home in and around the Cupcake Kitschen, near the piano, behind the couch, and wherever I can step on you a la Legos and break my foot into a million pieces.

Knows the secret ingredient in the Fake Strawberry Ice Cream: plastic.

You know what’s cool about Fake Produce? That while some semi-famous Brooklyn co-ops are debating whether to offer plastic bags for customers to use with their real produce, people in China (on our behalf, surely) are making fake food out of plastic. That’s ironic!

You know what else is cool about Fake Produce? The entire yellow chicken is as big as a waffle, which is as big as a strawberry, which is as big as a can of vegetables (WHY can of vegetables WHY?), which is as big as a green pineapple (WHY green pineapple WHY?).

You know what is not cool about Fake Produce? As Sigourney noted, the fake ice cream tastes exactly the same as the fake potatoes. That’s just wrong, man.

Got to go now. We have a LOT of pieces to lose, and we better start losing them right away.

Remember, folks: GREEN PINEAPPLE IS REALLY PLASTIC. IT'S PLASTIC!

 

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11 responses to “Fake Produce

  1. Ha! I’ve been spending all morning picking up fake food after a visit from the grandkids this past weekend! Love the pictures!

  2. The shopping basket is the BEST. I love it.

  3. My brother and I had some fake plastic food when we were kids, and they were supposed to smell like the real thing! Kind of disturbing that nearly 30 years later, they still have an odor left behind. I’m kind of thinking that someday when I get a terrible disease it can be traced back to that stuff.

    • Hahahaha, that is disturbing. Our world will smell like chemicals until the chemicals destroy the world, I suppose.

      My mom never bought us fake plastic food. Abysmal childhood was mine. She did give us some of her food-garbage, though. I remember having an empty cereal box and frozen food meal. That way I could pretend that I was having TV dinners every night of the week. Mmm, burnt microwave brownies…

  4. I LOVE this post. I used to be OBSESSED with this fake food stuff. Lola has a whole kitchen in her bedroom. And I used to be all precious about it all having to be WOODEN food, but my standards have slipped and Lola hasn’t even noticed.

  5. That cucumber looks to be about the same size as Sigourney’s leg!

  6. Pingback: You Put a Pineapple Where? | sillyliss.com

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