Seinfeld (or as I like to call him, The Bard) says that 90 to 95% of people are undateable. UNDATEABLE! Because they laugh like Elmer Fudd or eat peas one at a time or wear the same dress every day. I am pretty sure The Bard would not have dated me either:
- I talk to my food while it’s microwaving. I give it advice, such as, “Don’t explode, okay? Don’t explode in there. I’m asking nicely.”
- I am a bit compulsive about checking weather.com. I just checked it now. And then refreshed. Yep, still weather out there. The forecast could change at any moment. So…refresh. Refresh. Hard refresh (just in case).
- I find sans serif fonts unprofessional and judge letters I receive accordingly.
- I once consumed an entire box of Archer Farms Cheddar and Asiago Sourdough Squares in one sitting. It was an accident. But it still happened.
- I open doors with my elbows whenever possible. Unless I am wearing gloves or can somehow manipulate my shirt sleeves to do the dirty work for my elbows.
- It is possible that my aversion to balloons is uncommon.
- I have two kids and am technically already married. I don’t know if that mattered to The Bard or not, but it matters to me.