Seinfeld (or as I like to call him, The Bard) says that 90 to 95% of people are undateable. UNDATEABLE! Because they laugh like Elmer Fudd or eat peas one at a time or wear the same dress every day. I am pretty sure The Bard would not have dated me either:

  • I talk to my food while it’s microwaving. I give it advice, such as, “Don’t explode, okay? Don’t explode in there. I’m asking nicely.”
  • I am a bit compulsive about checking weather.com. I just checked it now. And then refreshed. Yep, still weather out there. The forecast could change at any moment. So…refresh. Refresh. Hard refresh (just in case).
  • I find sans serif fonts unprofessional and judge letters I receive accordingly.
  • I once consumed an entire box of Archer Farms Cheddar and Asiago Sourdough Squares in one sitting. It was an accident. But it still happened.
  • I open doors with my elbows whenever possible. Unless I am wearing gloves or can somehow manipulate my shirt sleeves to do the dirty work for my elbows.
  • It is possible that my aversion to balloons is uncommon.
  • I have two kids and am technically already married. I don’t know if that mattered to The Bard or not, but it matters to me.


15 responses to “Undateable

  1. Throw away your camera! Your drawings are the best! πŸ™‚

  2. Down with Helvetica! (Unless it’s on an ad or in a photo caption.)

  3. I am amazed you did that pic with a mouse. It’s great! Did you do the one of the grocery store with a mouse, too?

    • Yeah, I did the other picture with a mouse, too, but I used Adobe Photoshop instead of Paint (Paint is a pain). You won’t even be able to tell when I switch to the stylus. My drawings will be the exact same amount of talent, which is, obviously, none.

  4. For the record, I much prefer sans serif for everything! It is MUCH easier for me to read. πŸ˜›

  5. But is the weather still there now!!!!?!

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