The Wasteland

Most offices have these things you can keep under your desk. They come in all sizes and shapes and are called garbage cans. Or trash receptacles. Or waste paper baskets.

My office has those…things. They are superfluous. Because there is: My Desk.

My desk at work is the dumping ground for anything that anybody wishes to discard at any random moment in time.

The last three things to land on my desk were:

A necklace! No, wait, a snake? Nope, just a cord that is no longer being used and for some reason was tossed onto The Wasteland.

Coffee holder. To be fair, it came with a cup of coffee for me, but also instructions to return the coffee holder to the coffee shop. A project!

Disgusting candy. This was brought over as a "gift for the office" of which I am the keeper. Every time I have to send something out via Campus Mail, I stick some of the nasty taffy into the envelope as a special surprise for my coworkers. Nobody else is eating the stuff, though I was told not to throw it away because it's so yummy!

I am taking donations to the Wasteland. If you have any junk that has no use, requires me to run an errand, or is just generally yucky, please leave it in my inbox. No need to leave a note. I’ll know it’s from you.


15 responses to “The Wasteland

  1. Wonderful!

    Now we know what to do with that stack of old phone books!

  2. We’ve been cleaning out junk that has accumulated for stupid reasons, or no reason at all. Expect a huge delivery. πŸ™‚

  3. My goodness, how can you dislike taffy?! I wasn’t aware that there were people in the world who don’t enjoy such a wonderful creation. Is it all taffy that you detest, or just this particular brand?

    • The asst. boss has this taffy is his office that is kind of like flavored Tootsie Rolls. They are the perfect amount of chewiness, in that they do not take out my dental work. Yummy, they are good.

      Meanwhile, these are both hard and dental-work-alicious, and as an added bonus they taste (at least the one I had) like toothpaste. Vile weed!

  4. Don’t you love when people give you an errand as a gift!? I flippin HATE taffy too.

    • He seems to always bring me one of those things the day after I have returned a bunch of them to the coffee shop. I think he’s tracking my movements. *shifty eyes*

  5. You just need some yarn shoved underneath the desk so that your legs no longer fit and you have my desk at home πŸ™‚

  6. Yum, taffy candy! Okay but a whole bag, that’s insane. They couldn’t leave it on the kitchen table? lol

    • I guess, our office doesn’t have a kitchen (we do have a microwave hidden below a cupboard), so *I* am the kitchen. I host the coffee maker, the tea bags, the water cooler, the napkins, the creamer — and the tissues, the inbox, the toner that’s so old we no longer own the printer, and boxes upon boxes of junk that nobody wanted but felt we needed to keep anyway.

  7. Pingback: Tastes Like Coffee |

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