Sleepless Nuggets

In our house growing up, we owned the book and the record (yes, the LP!) of Free to Be You and Me. It’s a Marlo Thomas production. You know, the wife of Phil Donahue? The talk show host? Sally Jessy Raphael’s biggest daytime rival? Does any of this mean anything to you? How about Ricki Lake saying, “Talk to the ‘and!”?

I think we can all agree that society is headed in a fantastic direction.

Well, all you need to know is that Marlo Thomas taught me that Parents Are People. People with children.

She forgot, in her gender-boundary-breaking variety show, to tell me that parents are people with children who never, ever, ever, ever get a full night’s sleep.

Unless it’s just me. Unless every other parent is getting a full night’s sleep except for me. This is possible, but I’m too tired to care. (Oh, wait. Hi, Cakesy! Did you seriously just post the same thing I did? If so, I think I have a suggestion for you…)

Actually, sleep in our house has improved somewhat. We don’t have any newborns at this moment. (And no, I’m not pregnant. IT’S JUST THE SHIRT.)

That is how those two little chicken nuggets trick me! They start to sleep better, and my body gets to used to it. Then one of them (Sigourney) realizes that she is getting away with something and changes it up — or changes it back — to no sleep.

She’s got plans. Big plans. Big, fake green pineapple plans.

One night not too long ago (I’ll call it Monday), Sigourney decided to wake up at 2 a.m. and proceed to pound on my stomach for approximately two hours while I hovered between the realms of consciousness and Nod. Eventually I started feeling sick to my stomach about it, and for reasons I cannot explain, this led me to finally opt for a pill to help me sleep/help me not get sick.

Four in the morning is not really a good starting point for a sleep-inducing drug. The next day at work was pretty miserable. Until!

Until I realized that the absence of the boxes under my desk had created the perfect sanctuary.

This picture makes me realize how grey and drab my office space is. Makes me feel…kinda sleepy, actually.

I actually fell asleep under my desk. It was one of the best naps I’ve ever had.

When I emerged (a bit to the surprise of my coworker, which, I have to admit, was kind of the best part), she asked me why I had not opted to go up to the third floor of our building and sleep in the hallway.

Is that not ludicrous?

There is the perfect space under my desk!

This weekend, I am attempting to bunk my two chicken nuggets in the same ketchup holder. That is, I want Sigourney and Erma to sleep together. They can stay up all night pounding on each others’ stomachs if they want.

Do I think this is a good idea? No. But I am optimistic (hi, Mom!) that I will have a good blog post at the end of it. If I’m awake enough to write it up.

I think I’ll bring a pillow to work. To keep under my desk.


20 responses to “Sleepless Nuggets

  1. I’ll pass the ‘sleeping under the desk’ tip on to my daughter. She has the same problem; two little ones and too little sleep.

    • I think she’ll find that she can get some of her best sleep under the desk. Nobody is asking for a bottle of appa joosh or to help open a board game or ANYTHING when I’m under the desk. It’s strictly ME time.

  2. And you created that picture with a mouse?????

  3. I had assumed that the two of you had agreed to post about exactly the same thing today! Apparently I was left out of the loop, which is probably because I’m male. Fine, whatever! 😉

    As for you sleeping under your desk, I may start referring to you as “George” from now on.

    • If you could post about your lack of sleep real quick, that would be, well, as George would say, actually, TRIFECTA.

      There were no good pictures of George sleeping under his desk, or believe me, they would have appeared here on this post. I am too tired to NOT steal all my best ideas for real life from episodes of Seinfeld.

  4. I think I may need to get a job with a desk.

    Also, I had that record. My kids have the cd.

  5. It was just coincidence, I swear!

    firs of all, “No I’m not pregnant, its just the shirt!” made me laugh and laugh!!!
    also, with Lola, it DID feel even WORSE when she started sleeping through the night and then regressed.
    also also, I work in a hospital. There are BEDS everywhere! Do you know how hard it is not to lay down on them and go to sleep!?

    • That happened to me yesterday. Had to retire the shirt.

      I didn’t know you worked in a hospital! What do you do? Are you a brain surgeon? That was my first thought.

      • yes, I am a brain surgeon. All this while that I’m putzing around on the internet, I’m supposed to be operating on brains. That’s probably why I have to work fulltime and still can barely pay my bills.

        lol. I work in Physical Therapy as an aide.

  6. Oh no! The mouse is still in your office???
    And don’t worry, sleep gets better in time. My kids are close in age, and when we lived in little apartments (heck, even once in a big apartment) and they slept in the same room, sleep time for me was much better! Best of luck to you!!!

  7. Yes, whilst parenting itself doesn’t get easier as they get older, the ability to sleep through the night does. Having said that, the night before last my 13 year old daughter came into my room at around 3am saying that she had a stomach ache, and asked if she could sleep in with me. She then spent the rest of the night next to me saying “Owww” every few seconds, whilst I unsympathetically buried my head under the pillows to block out the noise! Doesn’t happen very often these days though.

  8. workingmommawithababy

    Sleep? I have heard of this. I think I used to have some of this at one point. Maybe I’ll have to try the under the desk thing…I did seriously consider putting Baby in his playpen last week with 5 binkies and a bottle while I curled up on the floor in the fetal position using Baby’s stuffed zebra as a pillow. I promise I only considered it…

  9. Pingback: Snowball Sandwich: The Other White Meat |

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