Mister Pirate and Other Jokes That Do Not Make Sense

My dear, dear Cakesy tagged me of sorts, to tell a joke and pass it on. If you want to read some really nutty humor, you should see her original post. She really put some balls in the air with that one. (I have completely spent my testicle humor. Oh wait.)

Here is my favorite joke, which I heard on the radio in Tampa circa 1998:

A beautiful woman with a glass eye is eating alone at a fancy restaurant. She sneezes and her glass eye goes shooting out of its socket. (Ew.)

A man eating at the table near her instantly reaches his hand out and catches the flying marble. (Ew.)

He returns it to her, and they dine together.

She offers to pay for his dinner, then takes him out for a wild night on the town.

Yada yada yada, the next morning, the lucky man and the beautiful woman are still together. He is amazed by his fortune of meeting this incredible lady.

“Are you this nice to every guy you meet?” he wonders aloud to her.

“No,” she says. “Just the ones who catch my eye.”

HA HA HA HA HA. This is the best joke ever, especially to people with mild fears of eyeballs (or major fears of eyeballs, such as myself).

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And here is a recent ALL TRUE conversation between Flathead and myself:

Me to Z: What do you call a day when nothing genuinely BAD happened — no car accident or health problems or job losses or anything dreadful — yet a series of mediocre/frustrating/annoying events kept it from being a good day?

Z: Wednesday?

My Wednesday work assignment: to find a reel-to-reel player "on the cheap" as drawn above.

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Finally, here is Erma’s favorite joke:

E: Sigourney Bear, how you doin’ today?

S: Pffft!

Another favorite joke that requires immediate and hysterical laughter is to simply address someone as, "Hey, there, Mister Pirate Sir."

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Now these three people (and everybody else who wants to) should tell their own joke, either here, or better yet, somewhere else and linked back to here:

Caffeinated Jenny

Snotting Black Emily

Bravergal

Then pass it on to three more people, if you dare.

DO WHAT THE BLUE MAN TELLS YOU TO DO. He tells you to participate in the joke telling. Or maybe I just wanted to show off that I met a blue man. Da ba dee da ba die.

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10 responses to “Mister Pirate and Other Jokes That Do Not Make Sense

  1. You and your jokes are funny! But, Sigourney Bear takes the prize! Pfffft!
    And, I’m here to share a lovely gesture that someone shared with me: you are the recipient of The Versatile Blogger award! Please stop by my blog and look for the “Go ahead, make my day!” post. Congrats and thanks for all the entertainment!

  2. very nice!
    And Erma’s favorite joke was also hysterical!
    I thought the blue man group was so funny, but I think they’re kinda creepy; I might feel weird about actually meeting one.

  3. I don’t understand this “pingback” business. I wish I wasn’t such a techno idiot.

  4. And so I have been tagged! Come see: Oregana
    🙂

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