We were invited on a playdate this weekend. Our first ever invitation! Erma was extremely excited to play at her friend’s house. That is an extreme understatement.
I, on the other hand, take these opportunities to press my internal panic button.
I searched deep within my soul and discovered that my chief concern about playdate at someone else’s house was: food. I had a feeling that Erma would ask for food, or expect food, or want food — even though we planned to be there for a very short time period.
To combat this potential problem, I enacted Operation No Hunger Games or ONHG for short:
I informed Erma of the rules of Playdate. The first rule of Playdate is you don’t talk about Playdate. (Actually, that IS a rule — at preschool. I digress.)
2. There would be NO FOOD served at Playdate.
3. Eat a full breakfast before Playdate.
4. Eat a second breakfast at a-quarter-to-ten (you brush your teeth, tch tch, you brush your teeth, tch tch).
5. Food eaten at Playdate must be hunted, gathered, or absconded from the cornucopia.
6. Okay, I haven’t actually insisted that my four-year-old read The Hunger Games, but that’s only because she can’t read. I did require her to see the movie, though.
7. We will have lunch together after Playdate.
So Erma eats Breakfast #1 (I don’t even know what, I was still asleep — probably a variety of fruit and her vitamins). Then at 9:15, I thrust Breakfast #2 at her: a vat of cut watermelon and a cheesestick, plus some of my eggs in a basket.
In the car, we review the the rules of Playdate AKA ONHG.
We arrive. There is much squealing, the running of the little people, and then the playing with mobile duckies. We have been there for about 15 minutes and are walking down the hallway when Erma starts PATTING HER STOMACH AND GROANING.
“What are you doing?” I hiss at her.
“Mamaaaaa,” she hisses back in her weakest, poutiest, saddest voice ever, “I am soooo hungry.”
Which of course is NOT the quietest voice ever. She is offered food. She accepts. She eats (I am not even exaggerating here): cantaloupe, two kinds of cookies, strawberries, pineapple, and a large glass of milk. SHE THEN PROCEEDS TO ASK FOR AN APPLE. Which she gobbled right down to the core.
I’m guessing right after we left Playdate, Erma’s friend and her mother had to immediately go to the grocery store to replenish their supplies, as we ate an entire produce section of food in under two hours.
Meanwhile, we went home…and had lunch.