Twinkle Toes

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This is the after picture from my pedicure. There is no before picture, because looking at feet is gross even under the best of circumstances.

It is a cold day in my office to be wearing open-toed shoes.

Last night I was the recipient of my first-ever pedicure. Now that I’m in the know (and possibly also in the cups) about pedicures, I figure the people of the internet could benefit from my extensive knowledge of the biz.

Toenail art cost me an extra five dollars. Apparently they told me before applying the toenail art that it would cost me five dollars. Apparently I then nodded. And that constitutes a verbal contract.

1. Tell them you are nervous. This will inspire them to turn on the back massager. You will no longer be nervous and you just got a massage for $30/hour with a side of nail painting.
2. Don’t shave your legs. I know, I know. Everybody told me to shave my legs prior to my pedicure, because the pedicure technician will see them. But you know what’s worse than somebody seeing hairy legs? Having moisturizer rubbed into razor burn.
3. Learn Vietnamese. Not just the basic foot and leg-related words, but also the subtle nuances of the language, especially in relation to nail polish art. (This may just be for the nail shop I went to, but really, would it hurt to just learn Vietnamese for any and all situations that may arise in the future, whether toes are part of them or not?)
4. Carry a pair of flip flops on your person so that you won’t ruin your newly done toenails. This may be totally obvious to everybody in the world except for me. I had my husband bring to my work my only open-toed shoes. They are pink flip flops. They nicely complemented my purple dress, razor-burned legs, and red twinkle toes.
5. Bring cash for your tip. There is no tip spot on the credit card receipt. Even McDonalds has a tip spot on their credit card receipts. But not the nail salon. So bring cash, or simply, don’t tip and never go back again. I always think that a genuine, from-the-heart “thank you,” works in place of a tip at any time.

While I was at Payless acquiring my new open-toed shoes to show off my nail art, I also picked up some new Jackie Os. Now, you probably thought you were looking at a picture of Jackie Kennedy Onassis, but the truth is, it’s just your old friend sillyliss. The differences between Jackie O and sillyliss are negligible.

Disclaimer: no foot bottoms were shaved, tickled, or over-pumiced in the making of this pedicure, or in the making of this post. However, you may have just agreed to pay me an undisclosed dollar amount in exchange for the opportunity to learn more about pedicures. You are welcome.