In surfing through various news sites, I came across headlines such as:
- State GOP chairman under fire for pro-gay marriage stance
- Hillsborough schools get $8.7 million in state recognition funds
- Daly City schools to distribute condoms to high school students
- Unemployment at 4-Year Low as U.S. Hiring Gains Steam
- United Way of Greater Cleveland exceeds its $41 million fundraising goal
- Oklahoma workers’ comp bill “unworkable” as written, advisory board says
- Federal cuts could close Felts air traffic tower
- Supreme court denies Omaha man’s final appeal
- Homicide suspect was ‘adventurous, mischievous, with a mean streak,’ middle-school classmate recalls
Then there’s the Fargo Forum.
The biggest news of Thursday, March 7, 2013, was license plates. Sure, there was a shooting, and a big reefer bust, but more importantly: VANIT PL8S!
North Dakota must have the highest per capita vanity plate ownership of any state. It might be because the population is small enough that you can get whatever you want on a plate. Or that some of the conservatives at the Department of Motor Vehicles are so out of it that they don’t catch all of the naughty-naughty chatspeak being communicated through cars’ rear ends.
That’s why they set up a committee of teenagers to tell them who’s doing it wrong so they can confiscate those pl8s! And they WILL get those pl8s back. Yes, they will.
Among the many, many, many vanity pl8s I saw yesterday as I drove from my home in the much-less-vain state of Minnesota to my job in North Dakota (love you, North Dakota xoxo) was one that read 87CUTTY. It was on a Cutlass Supreme. An old, tired looking 1987 Cutlass Supreme. I salute you and your savings account, 87CUTTY.
Come on. Who will fess up that they actually OWN a vanity pl8? Or in other words, ME & THE B, please step forward. I know you are reading this and I NEED to know who you are.