Fear #292: Balloons

fearballoons

I also loathe those Pillsbury Doughboy canisters that pop when you least expect them to, even when you most expect them to.

The kids are playing with that #$*&%^* green balloon right now.

What we need is balloon legislation. Criminal background checks before owning or operating a balloon. Balloons should be licensed and owners should have to undergo intense training before being allowed to toss a balloon. No underage balloon blowing. Strict penalties for those who use balloons in abhorrent acts. Or else all balloons should be forced to be housed in a secret arsenal in Montana and left to slowly deflate.

Seriously, I am going to cower under the kitchen table until it’s spring. Which might be a long time coming.

Tax Day

Minnesota on April 15, 2013

 

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7 responses to “Fear #292: Balloons

  1. I agree. A safe balloon is a deflated balloon. Otherwise, approach at your own risk.

  2. I find balloons really annoying, luckily now that my kids are older ballons are not the regular feature in our house that they were a few years ago!

  3. For some reason I can handle the popping better than I can the squeaky sounds their bloated skins make and their noxious latex smell. But deflated balloons are worse: flaccid wrinkled hides shucked off like the outgrown skin of a snake. Gross. And usually damp. Eww. No such thing as a good balloon.

  4. workingmommawithababy

    bah ha ha ha ha ha!!! OMG I love the pictures. 2 loves balloons and I found out this weekend that he thinks it’s hilarious when they pop. So now he tries to pop balloons whenever they are around. It’s EXACTLY like the pillsbury roll cans!!! It takes years off your life! I’m ready to support balloon and pillsbury legislation.

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