Outstanding! I have nominated myself for a whole bunch of new awards, that far surpass the Mother of the Year Award. I think it will be a short while before I hand myself a Lifetime Achievement Award for being a doofus.
And the award for Winter Weather Blunder goes to…
ME! for having the following conversation this morning as I was taking Sigourney to the childcare center:
Sigourney: It cold outside.
Sigourney: Why I no have coat on?
Me: *looks at Sigourney in shock and awe*
It was 28 degrees. How did I not notice she wasn’t wearing a coat until we were two steps from inside the building?
And the award for Worst Misuse of Chocolate goes to…
ME! Thinking to myself while eating a granola bar at my desk, “Why is my date stamp stamping brown instead of blue? Oh wait.”
And the award for Complete and Total Absent-Mindedness goes to…
ME! for taking our anxiety-ridden, squeaky-nosed dog on a shed-filled car ride to the veterinarian yesterday in order to update vaccinations needed to board him this weekend, then losing the tags and paperwork before getting home. I have searched for hours, wasted so much time and frustration looking for something that was put directly into my hand yesterday. I have no recollection whatsoever of my final moments with that dog tag.
And the award for Consumption of Food Wrappings goes to…
ME! as I say to myself, “Why does this Rolo taste like foil? Oh wait.”
And the award for Late Night Alertness goes to…
ME! for not being able to differentiate the sound of whistling through my nose from the sound of a child crying. “Is that a kid? Is a kid awake? It’s 1 a.m. Why is there a kid awake? … Oh wait. It’s my nose.”
I am going to need a new display case for all of the trophies I keep giving myself. Yay me!