Have you ever done something just to see what it’s like, purely for the experience? Maybe you’ve gone para-sailing, gotten some ink, or cut your hair short — REALLY short.
For me, it was running the marathon. Last year, we ran the marathon. We trained for the marathon. And in the end, when we were no longer speaking to each other, we had that medal to show for our efforts (although Erma hardly ever lets me wear it). It was the hardest half-mile I’ve ever run-walked.
And I had no plans to do it ever, ever, ever again. For various reasons, including everything seen here.
But Erma wanted to run. She has running in her blood, or at least she has a love for running in her blood. So tonight we ran our second marathon.
We came in fifth from last, behind an amazing blind child who people were cheering for like crazy, and we pretended it was kind of for us, too. Erma was giving everybody on the sidelines high fives, even babies. I was headed toward the finish line screaming, “WE DID IT. WE LIIIIIIIVED.”
Then, in the end, we weren’t wearing matching bib numbers and security came for us. Yes, another fantastic marathon ending, as a police officer tried to ensure I was not abducting Erma. In the end, he used my friend Tiffany’s phone to look at my Facebook profile. That seems to be 21st Century proof of parental rights.
So, kids, before you go off on your rants about Facebook, remember: SOCIAL MEDIA SAVES LIVES.
Now I’m going to eat some ice cream and listen to some ukelele music.